She's an English comic who plied her trade in New Zealand, she's a Chortle Best Newcomer award winner, and if you invite her round your house she'll break something for you – that's right, it's Diane Spencer!

Where in London do you live?:
DS: I don't, I live in Surrey, just outside on the Surbiton/Tolworth border. Where I live depends on whether I'm applying for a bank loan or sympathy.

How long have you been gigging for?:
DS: Four years in November.

What do we need to know about you?:
DS: I have a natural ability to destroy things. I usually find the weakness in something simply by trying to use it for the purpose it was built. I stayed at my friend's flat in Edinburgh – first day her radiator fell off the wall. Then I opened the window, the blind fell down. Then I managed to cause the washing machine/dryer to have a fit and constantly rinse out the soap drawer, not wash anything but then dry it all, thereby cooking the stains into our clothes. Oh yeah, invite me round and you'll soon realise what new stuff you need.

What do we not need to know about you, but you're going to tell us anyway?:
DS: My favourite pair of pants are my leopard-print boxer shorts. I feel like I can climb trees in them. This is a fallacy.

Who makes you laugh?:
DS: Cliched answer: my family. In the comedy world, Asher Treleaven really made me laugh so much my face hurt. He's an amazing performer to watch onstage. The guy who does the voiceover narration for Come Dine With Me who takes the mick out of the loonies who volunteer for it. Just ... why go on national television and use the spice "cumin" if you can't pronounce it?

What are your favourite London venues?:
DS: The Comedy Store. I haven't played there yet, but walking into that place and knowing its history, I have reverence for that place. Despite gigging for four years, I haven't actually gigged that much in London itself.

What are you/should you be famous for?:
DS: I am famous for being in a couple of adverts in New Zealand. Including falling out of a tree to sell a washing machine. I should be famous for telling good jokes. Give it time.

Who is your celebrity doppelganger?:
DS: Dr Beverly Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Can you dance?:
DS: Yes, but the shapes I throw tend to look a bit dented. I'll give it a bash, and if I have a strong partner who constantly counts in my ear, then I find once I've reached maximum patronisation I care less and dance better. Tried pole dancing once – I made this squealing pig noise as my rubbery inner thighs squeaked me down the pole. I liked to think of it as making music from gravity and fat.

Whose sex face would you least like to see?
DS: Simon Cowell's. He's too smug already.

Audiences love it when I ... share my material with utter glee.

Audiences hate it when I ... don't rip someone apart. I'm not a comedian who attacks people; I'll take on a heckler, but once that's done, I'll carry on with my wee storyjokes and that's been a weird complaint by some people at the end of a gig "I wish you'd really ripped into that guy and tore him a new arsehole". I'm just not an arsehole ripper.

Here's a clip of Diane's stand-up ...