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Ian Smith's Edinburgh Festival blog #1: Trimming my beard

Monday, August 09 2010

One of this year's young comic showcase The Lunchtime Club, Ian Smith, is concerned he is adopting the 'homeless man' look a bit too much.


Ian Smith

At the beginning of this festival, I committed myself to keeping my beard. Just to clarify, there were certain rules to this commitment – mainly that by "keeping" I mean, "on my face" and not "shaving, and saving in a dish or flask". The word "keeping" must refer to an actual biological bond. Consequently, I became very conscious that I looked like a homeless man. This has been reinforced by a number of audience surveys.

In a medical development, I also hurt my foot by dropping shower gel on it (still in the plastic bottle, obviously, not by applying it to my foot) and am now walking around either in pain, or with my foot wrapped in tissue paper, two pairs of socks and a bit less pain. Consequently, I have developed a slight limp, making my "homeless man" persona frighteningly real.

After I compered F**king Funny for a Fiver (Note: 'Fucking' is edited on the poster, I am not editing "the swears" in this piece. If anything, I strive to add them) I decided I would trim my beard in a fit of 50% self-loathing, 33% self-awareness and 17% other emotions.

So yes, in conclusion, I have now trimmed my beard from ridiculous and homeless-looking, to less ridiculous and unkempt-looking.

In more general Edinburgh news, The Lunchtime Club: Class of 2010 has been going well, it's been pretty much full all four times so far, and I feel extremely grateful to be part of such an organised unit, and to have an amazing team of flyerers, quite simply flyering things the fuck up.

Here is some additional, non-beard based news from Edinburgh:

The bananas in my cupboard are spreading their flavour to the other foods in there. I had a sandwich this morning, which felt like jam between two bananas. Yes, I had a jam sandwich. I am 21.

Some flyerers are degenerate scum who will interrupt Ian Smith, Daniel Smith and James W Smith (or, as many call us, the three Smiths) when we are at the crescendo of an unsurprisingly excellent conversation, and will not take "no, sorry, we're having an important conversation" as a "no", but as a, "let me show you these four other flyers" causing Daniel Smith to give back the flyer he had initially accepted, me to fake a terminal illness and James W Smith to keep his cool. He has his head screwed on.

John-Luke Roberts’ show, John-Luke Roberts Distracts You From A Murder is excellent and I encourage everyone to go and see it.

Honey and lemon Strepsils: I think – I'm not saying this is a fact – that they have upped the lemon, which, as far as I'm concerned is a good move.

Ian x


Ian can be found performing as part of Lunchtime Club: Class of 2010 at 12.30pm at the Tron, click here for booking.

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